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Nausea

Anecdote from the past.

Living in berlin made me hang out with some very talented guys. I might had make them watched twilight once too often but anyway, it's strange listening to their final product now. the one that has been developed in the bad times that have happened. it has taken the guys so so long now to announce what has had been decide ages ago and i assume that they have finally moved on. so band break up = love break up?

I never thought a song could bring up so much and help me in the same way... 

 

 

http://soundcloud.com/thecinematics/nausea

20.11.11 14:18


good times

- Norfold & Chance + Winston won a box of stella at the pub quiz on thursday. how smart are we? 8-)

- i went to a jewerlist to let them estimate the worth of my old engagement ring... its worth a little fortune!

- im planning my perfect boyfriends and my wedding at the moment, its going on well. we have set a date, we have chosen a venue for our reception and i even kinda know what style of dress i want.

 So i have decided, that im gonna take on my perfect boyfriends surname. i love the commitment it shows. Also people will finally be able to pronounce my last name over here. result. 

 

 

 

 

7.5.11 16:28


it's time to grow up my dear.

I am not 19 forever and so on....

I'm getting married in october and i couldnt be more excited. Gosh are we all not growing up so so quick? Its mental. Since January i am engaged now. Part II.

My first engagement was an utter fail - why agreeing to something you are not 100% sure about? The day i got proposed to back then on the 14th August 2008 was also the day my arsehole ex and me had one of our biggest arguements - on my birthday and i still said yes... The man made me cry on my birthday cause.. cause of what? i dont remember, but i remember it was very useless. How stupid was i back then to believe i could just not do better? I believe there are so many more women out there who believe that, its sad.

 this blog has been a big help to me. its not like i blog too often or anything like that but i believe writing down what happened to me helps me to work off the events that happened, to calm me down, to not get my depressions to strike back.

I am in a new part of my life now and everything will be fine. I know it, i feel it,

 

 

22.4.11 15:12


we'll always be together. together in electric dreams.

my cousin just gave birth to a wee baby boy. david is his name, im so happy - finally i get to buy baby clothes!

Gosh it's really the simple things in life that entertain me.... My perfect boyfriend and me went to hang around in one of the nicest parks i've ever been to. you know, one of those with little pink unicorns and fairys jumping around. Amazing how you can find such a peacefull place in such a big city. Gosh, london & my perfect boyfriend really took my heart over. Mental but the last time i've seen some proper scenester was back in berlin." i prefer to hang around in art galleries and wear fake glasses "  yay that's what i call life.

At the moment i just prefer to spend time working, listening to music, wondering how i can take over the world with minimum effort and falling asleep in my perfect boyfriends arms (and yes sometimes i start dribbeling on him)

bands i've been listening to in the last couple of weeks...

-> the vaccines -> the pierces -> cage the elefant -> tinie tempah -> chase & status -> the human league -> jamie t -> the joy formidable -> the wombats -> eva & the heartmakers -> lucy swann

it still scares me how dependend my selfesteem is.

nice man -> good selfconfidence. bad man - > shit selfconfidence. it scares me cause i feel so easily vulenrable, like a massive invitation to hurt me basicly...

BUT right now everythings brill, so i even started wearing trouthers again! Yes! & I love it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

19.4.11 19:18


day 9.

of the sore teeth time and i really hope that today the insurance card gets in. cause i really start to suffer now.... 

so if i go later to the dentist, where i probably gonna die, my perfect boyfriend can keep all my belongings.  argue with him about the shoes and nailvanishes.

so in total i have an exciting day upcoming, full of pain, great work and the loveliest people i can imagine.....

5.4.11 09:03


cause we can

i really cant write and still i keep doing it again and again.

Well what is happening in your lifes out there? My life is as just running by way to quick. While i was really delighted to have two days off in a row, my body did not have anything better to do than just ruining the fun with a shitload amount of pain.

I might just be drama - but thats how i rule ( is my excuse ) 

My perfect boyfriend is playing along on his guitar and i'm watching this super interesting fishing show  (YAWN)

I recently been on my first date. After 4 years of uhhhm being activly involved in uhhhhm men's lifes i made it finally to a date. Which i am very thrilled about. My Beauty Mate came along today and asked me what to talk about at dates and how to behave. I guess i am the least informative person when it comes to those things, as even my first date was with my fiance. so i guess we overskiped the dating part a bit. I always felt a bit blessed tho, that when i was 12 was a massive tomboy and had nothing better to do than beeing up to date with the british premier leage.This mini-passion i had for about 2 years came proper handy when i started seeing some british men ( i am german and fair play it wasnt so often that a british man crossed my way back then) If i coudlnt talk to a men about Music or Sport on a date i believe i would be pretty helpless and i guess he would absolutly not be my typical type.
I enjoy watching football in the pub with mates, i like going to the football stadium (which hasnt happen in a year now) and i still have a massive crush on harry kewell and Michael Owen.

Do you think its possible to go out with someone who has absolutly not the same taste in music at all? I dont think so. Its important to me and is it not really nice to go and watch a band together you both like? Cuddling up, drinking a pint and end up pissed : ) Or just ending up in a dark corner snogging along, while your favourite tune is on.

That would sound like a pretty decent night to me. but then again i am a massive weirdo and unfortunatelly i make it hardly to any gigs at the mo. 

Would love to go to see the Vaccines this week in London. They are my new obession, just such great tunes and sooo true sometimes. 

Postbreak Up sex is just pure brill, seems like indie is back! Which i am really reliefed about, as it seemed a bit quiet after bands like the Kaiser Chiefs and Futureheads released really shit albums and Electro Power Pop took over. 

 

 

 

 

 

5.4.11 01:33


howdy!

I know no one could ever believe it - but my perfect boyfriend aka fiance and me are now for 6 months together and even engaged.

Seems like i am the easy to engage kinda type lol but anyway i dont mind - in fact i love it to plan the future together with someone i know who cares about me, who i hope will always care about me and loves me how i am. who doesnt want to change me. 

I start to believe that i that i first time just said the "Yes" to my arsewhole ex cause he completly run down my self-confidence - you know a bit a case of " oh well why not i guess i wont find anyone better anyway" lol big time bullshit. I have learned and i'm more self-confident than i've ever been.

When my perfect boyfriend and me got first time intimate, i was shocked, thought like omg i cant do that - a flatmate AND just a couple of days after i split up but it all comes clear how long time finished i was with my arsehole ex.

I was wondering in my last relationship if i could be able to cheat on him and that made me realise i should instantly split up - why would you even consider cheating if you are in a happy (serious) relationship?! 

 

 

 

3.4.11 15:44


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